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Post by sophie regan on Apr 23, 2007 18:32:08 GMT
;D
well the first day was ok. I loaded the first chapter - which isn't as long as conventional chapters. The fact is, reading online is a different experience to reading a book, and so the chapters need to be shorter.
You can see the first of the mini documentaries and there's also a calendar of events on the blog too - so you can check what's happening and when.
Come on girls - let's chat!
xx
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Post by Lythe on Apr 27, 2007 10:58:21 GMT
Hello Sophie,
Thanks for sharing your singledom! What made you share all of this with us?
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Post by sophie regan on Apr 28, 2007 8:53:22 GMT
Hi Lythe
What a great question, thank you!
I wanted to share my story after finding out how many woman are disillusioned with the dating scene. It's a complete minefield out there, and after a roller coaster year -highs and lows of emotions - I found myself drained and despondent.
It's great fun getting flirty texts and emails loaded with banter and a sexy subtext, but finding out that your 'admirers' are married/engaged/in a long term relationship takes the wind out of your sails somewhat!
I spent some time thinking about it and realised that although I was convincing myself that I didn't want a man - I actually DID - and viewed every interaction (from supermarket cashier to car park attendant) as a potential date. Deciding to stay single put me out of that arena and I now enjoy appreciating male company, but not expecting anything from it (much softer on the emotions). Coupled with renewed self-esteem, I'm now focussing on my inner and outer beauty - and it's lots of fun. I look better than I have done for years and feel serene and calm inside.
I'd recommend it.
Just for a while.
I'm really enjoying getting to know myself again!
Does anybody else have similar experiences? What would you do if you were plagued by married/engaged men? Would you tell their wives? Send a blatantly obvious text message in the middle of the night so that their wife/girlfriend sees it? Or just make him feel like the low-life that he is??
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Post by melanie on Apr 28, 2007 17:55:58 GMT
I WAS plagued by a married man. I encouraged it though, so don't really have justified reason to moan. I met him at work and knew he was married right from the start. We started by going for a coffee and sandwich at lunchtime and the attraction was instant. I never believed in Chemistry between people - I had never really experienced it with previous boyfriends, we had almost drifted together through circumstances. But this was different.  He wasn't so physically attractive, but his confidence and sense of ease about himself was a huge attractor. It was as if he could handle anything and any situation and I saw him like a big protective bear who looked after me and made me laugh. So when I slept with him for the first time it was mindblowing. He really took control and didn't give me the chance to feel conscios about my middle aged body at all. He devoured me, moving me into positions that brought out an animal in me - i had never been such a dominatrix in bed.  I was crazy about him, even though he never once spoke badly abouthis wife. I knew he was in love with her and that they were hoping for children at some stage, and it was weird knowing about their life together and how I fitted - or didn't fit - into it. But we would have eaten each other if we could. The downside was the weekends and times that he was living his other life. Talk about Second Life - I really WAS his Second Life!  But I had to end it - I lost loads of weight and hadnt' been so tanned and fit and waxed (I even had a brazilian for him and I was rampant for sex all the time. we both loved it) ever before. But after about 10 months I realised that it was too much on my emotions - he was living 2 lives, but i was only living 1, and the times that I wasn't with him felt like only half a life. so as self-preservation i called it all off. i was in tears when I did this, but I knew it had to be that way. He was upset too. I still honestly believe that if he wasn't already married then we would have spent the rest of our lives together. But then again, he obviously didn't think that, otherwise, if his feelings were that strong for me, maybe he would have left her for me. And he didn't.  |
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Post by sophie regan on Apr 28, 2007 20:02:50 GMT
Melanie - you poor thing. And what a great comment about Second Life - it IS like living a Second Life if you have an affair (not YOU particularly, but anybody who is in love with 2 people). Hard times.
That's why I chose to stay single, because the emotional highs and lows were so extreme. I would go from feeling incredible, sexy and special - to feeling fat, lonely and despondent. I lost faith in relationships and it all just hurt too much. Especially when you have short term boyfriends fobbing you off with transparent reasons for ending the relationship. I'm not needy or clingy - I have to admit to walking away from a first date who laid on champagne and roses on his roof top balcony - it was too much too quick and it freaked me out!
But it's all the lies that upset me - and I became confused about it all.
And now? Staying single is great fun - although I do admit to feeling a little lonely and down at times.
Would you ever consider choosing to stay single for a bit? I suppose it's the old saying about 'loving yourself before someone else can love you' isn't it?
Please keep in touch! xxx
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ciara
New Member
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Post by ciara on Apr 29, 2007 8:54:41 GMT
I'd never sleep with a married man! It's like stealing, isn't it, because even if they take off their ring you can still see the mark where it is on their finger. What kind of a person sleeps with somebody who is married? It's a recipe for disaster, because as far as I can see, they NEVER leave their spouse for an affair. (And if they DO and you manage to keep your catch - it's only a matter of time before they cheat on YOU).
You didn't need to opt to stay single Sophie - just avoid married men. Should your choice have been to choose your men friends more carefully, rather than to opt out of the dating scene completely?
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Post by sophie regan on Apr 29, 2007 20:07:01 GMT
Hi Ciara. Thanks for joining us!
I completely agree with you re the married men thing, although I can understand how, when that 'attraction' is there, it's a tough thing to fight.
But my decision to stay single wasn't only because of married men - it was because my emotions couldn't cope with any more let downs or disappointments. The guys that I really liked always seemed to end up hurting or cheating on me, and the guys that liked ME seemed to be married or already taken. I found myself pulling myself to shreds.
And hey, it was time to move on!
I'm loving being single - all those parties and new buddies - and it's really true that when you're not looking for somebody you have so much more fun!!
Are you married or engaged? Or happily single too Ciara?
xx
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